Yes, I am weary. Not baby-keeps-me-up-all-night-weary. Not these-kids-won’t-stop-fighting-weary. Not even hour-after-the-birthday-party-is-over weary. I am weary-weary.
Frustration that all motivation is gone constantly bubbles to the surface, no matter how much I try to tame it. Grasping at the next steps, and how to look like I know what I’m doing for the sake of my kids – because I definitely don’t.
I realized it’s the emotional weariness of waiting. Waiting holds suspense and unknowns. The anticipation (good and bad) of waiting can be exhausting. Then an answer comes, and you start the process of waiting over again, with something new.
It’s a skill that we teach our kids at an early age: to wait and to be patient. We want them to be content, yet we, as adults, are now rightfully struggling with that concept of waiting.
I wish I had a magical answer on “how to cure your weariness”, but unfortunately I do not. I honestly don’t know; but I’m honestly sharing my current situation, in hopes that others won’t feel alone in their weariness.
That we can identify the feeling, label it, and take it day-by-day. Be the best we can be. Find joy and adventure in small (and I truly mean small) things and also be honest with our kids. They know because they see it in us.
Carry on weary mom – carry on.
Diary of a Weary Mom 